Lesson of Life

Our 21st Century Requirements

2010-08-30T22:34:00.000+07:00

Welcome to 21st Century

Our communication - Wireless

Our phones - Cordless

Our cooking - Fireless

Our food - Fatless

Our Sweets - Sugarless

Our labor - Effortless

Our relations - Fruitless

Our attitude - Careless

Our feelings - Heartless

Our politics - Shameless

Our education - Worthless

Our Mistakes - Countless

Our arguments - Baseless

Our youth - Jobless

Our Ladies - Topless

Our Boss - Brainless

Our Jobs - Thankless

Our Needs - Endless

Our situation - Hopeless

Our Salaries - Less and less..

Words women use

2010-05-28T14:00:00.000+07:00

Fine

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

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Five Minutes

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.

Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

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Nothing

This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

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Go Ahead

This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

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Loud Sigh

Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

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That's Okay

This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

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Thanks

This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.

Taken from http://usefulstuff4u.blogspot.com/2010/02/words-women-use.html by Adil

How to deal with the upcoming events

2010-05-28T13:57:00.000+07:00

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet Dachshund dog along for company.

One day, the Dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the Dachshund discovers that he is lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.

The Dachshund thinks, "I'm in deep trouble now! Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the Dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here."

Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That Dachshund! Nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the Dachshund sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

Now the Dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet... And just when they get close enough to hear,

The Dachshund says........ ......... .....

"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."

------------ --

Moral: It doesn't matter what cards you hold but how you play them!!

Taken from http://usefulstuff4u.blogspot.com/2010/02/how-to-deal-with-upcoming-events.html by Adil

It all depends on our attitude

2010-05-28T13:54:00.001+07:00

Robert De Vincenzo, the great Argentine golfer, once won a tournament and, after receiving the check and smiling for the cameras, he went to the clubhouse and prepared to leave. Some time later, he walked alone to his car in the parking lot and was approached by a young woman.

She congratulated him on his victory and then told him that her child was seriously ill and near death. She did not know how she could pay the doctor's bills and hospital expenses.

De Vincenzo was touched by her story, and he took out a pen and endorsed his winning check for payment to the woman. "Make some good days for the baby," he said as he pressed the check into her hand.

The next week he was having lunch in a country club when a Professional Golf Association official came to his table. "Some of the boys in the parking lot last week told me you met a young woman there after you won that tournament." De Vincenzo nodded. "Well," said the official, "I have news for you. She's a phony. She has no sick baby. She's not even married. She fleeced you, my friend."

"You mean there is no baby who is dying?" said De Vincenzo.

"That's right," said the official.

"That's the best good news I've heard all week." De Vincenzo said.

**********

Good news or bad news? It depends on how you see things. You can be bitter after cheated. Or you can choose to move on with your life.......

Taken from http://usefulstuff4u.blogspot.com/2010/02/it-all-depends-on-our-attitude.html by Adil

Getting Divorced

2010-05-28T13:45:00.000+07:00

Little Johnny was playing in his room when his dad walked in and explained that he and his mom were getting a divorce.

"Why Daddy?" asked a confused Little Johnny.

"Well, son" he explained, "Your mother and I are no longer in love."

Now more confused, Little Johnny asked, "What does being in love mean?"

"Let me give you an example, son. Love is when a husband rushes home from a long day at work to embrace and kiss his wife at the door. Your mom and I have lost that love."

"But Daddy, I see Mommy getting excited lots of times right when you come home, so she must still be in love with you."

"I don't understand, son. When has your mother recently been excited when I arrive home from work?"

"Well, sometimes when Mommy is still sleeping in bed with the neighbor, and you pull into the driveway, she shouts at the top of her lungs, 'My husband's home! My husband's home!"

Taken from http://usefulstuff4u.blogspot.com/2010/03/getting-divorced.html by Adil

Understanding Beloved Women

2010-05-28T13:42:00.000+07:00

Justify Full
We don't understand Women : Their "Whatever" "Anything" OR "You Decide"

1 . (Whatever)

Men: What should we have for dinner?
Women: Whatever..
Men: Why don't we have Mexican?
Women: No not Mexican, the last time I got pimples on my face
Men: All right, why don't we have Szechwan cuisine
Women: Yesterday we ate Szechwan, today too?
Men: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood is not good, I got diarrhea
Men: Then what do you suggest?
Women : Whatever..

2. (Anything)

Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything
Men: How about watching a movie? It's been a long time
Women: Watching movie is no good, it's a waste of time
Men: How about we go for bowling, or some exercises?
Women: Exercise on such a hot day?
Men: Then find a cafe and have a drink
Women: I am off caffeine
Men: Then what do you suggest?
Women: Anything

3. (You decide)

Men: Then do we just go home?
Women: You decide
Men: Let's take the bus, I will accompany you
Women: The bus is dirty and crowded.
Men: OK; we will take a cab
Women: Not worth it... For such a short distance
Men: All right, then we can walk. We can enjoy the weather
Women: I am hungry, can't walk.
Men: Then what do you suggest?
Women: You decide
Men: Let's have dinner first?
Women: Whatever...
Men: What shall we eat?
Women: Anything..

Taken from http://usefulstuff4u.blogspot.com/2010/03/understanding-beloved-women.html by Adil

Spaghetti

2010-05-28T13:37:00.000+07:00

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.

One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to Ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she Would go to Italy to secretly have the child..

If she stayed in Italy To raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child Turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, And Write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the Child Support payment to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

'You received a very strange postcard today,' she said.

'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he replied. The Wife obeyed.

And watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written:

Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without.
Send extra sauce....

Taken from http://usefulstuff4u.blogspot.com/2010/04/spaghetti.html by Adil

Touching Story

2010-05-28T13:33:00.000+07:00

One old man was sitting with his 25 years old son in the train. Train is about to leave the station. All passengers are settling down their seat. As train started young man was filled with lot of joy and curiosity. He was sitting on the window side. He went out one hand and feeling the passing air. He shouted, "Papa see all trees are going behind". Old man smile and admired son feelings. Beside the young man one couple was sitting and listing all the conversion between father and son. They were little awkward with the attitude of 25 years old man behaving like a small child.

Suddenly young man again shouted, "Papa see the pond and animals. Clouds are moving with train". Couple was watching the young man in embarrassingly. Now its start raining and some of water drops touches the young man's hand. He filled with joy and he closed the eyes. He shouted again," Papa it's raining, water is touching me, see papa". Couple couldn't help themselves and ask to old man. Why don't you visit the Doctor and get treated your son.

Old man said," Yes, We were coming from hospital only. Today only my son got the eyes for first time in life".

Moral: "Don’t draw conclusions until you know all the facts".

Taken from http://usefulstuff4u.blogspot.com/2010/04/touching-story.html by Adil

Business Logic and Strategy

2010-03-08T18:03:00.001+07:00

Father: 'I want you to marry a girl of my choice'
Son: 'I will choose my own bride!'
Father: 'But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter'
Son: 'Well, in that case...ok'

Next Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: 'I have a husband for your daughter'
Bill Gates: 'But my daughter is too young to marry!'
Father: 'But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank'
Bill Gates: 'Ah, in that case... ok'

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: 'I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president'
President: 'But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!'
Father: 'But this young man is Bill Gates' son-in-law'
President: 'Ah, in that case...ok'

And that, my friends, is how business is done!!

Taken from one of my friend's e-mails

Sharks

2010-03-08T17:58:00.001+07:00

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades.

So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish. If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh. The Japanese did not like the taste.

To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer.

However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen and they did not like frozen fish. The frozen fish brought a lower price.

So fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks. After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving. They were tired and dull, but alive. Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference. Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste.

The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish. So how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan? How Japanese managed to keep the fish fresh?

To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks. But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state. The fish are challenged.

Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired & dull, so we need a Shark in our life to keep us awake and moving? Basically in our lives Sharks are new challenges to keep us active and taste better…..

The more intelligent, persistent and competent you are, the more you enjoy a challenge.

If your challenges are the correct size, and if you are steadily conquering those challenges, you are Conqueror....

Taken from one of my friend's e-mails

Second Opinion!

2010-03-01T20:53:00.003+07:00

The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit.'
He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.'
The elderly tailor eye d him briefly and said, 'Let's see... size 44 long.'
Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.
Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'
Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'
The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'
Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years.'
Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?'
Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'
The salesman said, 'Let's see... size 36.
Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'
The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'

New suit - $400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS!

Taken from my friend's note

The Seed

2010-02-14T00:32:00.000+07:00

A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business.

Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.

He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you. "The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.

Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing.

By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however. He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - He so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick
to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful -- in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and
many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.

Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed - Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer!

His name is Jim!" Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed.

"How could he be the new CEO?" the others said.

Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.

All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!"

* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust

* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends

* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness

* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment

* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective

* If you plant hard work, you will reap success

* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation

* If you plant faith, you will reap a harvest

So, be careful what you plant now;
it will determine what you will reap later.

Taken from Adil's "The Seed"

Formula for Success

2010-02-14T00:24:00.001+07:00

A small truth to make our Life's 100% successful.. ........

If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is equal to 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then H +A +R + D+ W +O + R+ K = 8 + 1+ 18 +4 + 23+ 15 +18 + 11 = 98%

K + N+ O+ W +L + E+ D +G + E = 11 +14 + 15+ 23 +12 + 5+ 4 +7 + 5 = 96%

L + O+ V+ E =12 + 15+ 22 +5 = 54%

L + U+ C+ K = 12 + 21+ 3 +11 = 47%

(None of them makes 100%)

............ ......... ......... .

Then what makes 100%

Is it Money? ..... No!!!!!

Leadership? ....... NO!!!!

Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps

change our "ATTITUDE".

It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes

OUR Life 100% Successful..

A + T+ T+ I +T + U+ D +E = 1+ 20 +20 + 9+ 20 +21 + 4+ 5 = 100%

Don't you think so?!?!?!?

Taken from Adil's "Formula for Success"

Golden Words

2010-02-14T00:19:00.002+07:00

Dr. ABDUL KALAM
What is the Secret of SUCCESS... ? "RIGHT DECISIONS"
How do you make Right Decisions... ? "EXPERIENCE"
How do you get Experience.. . ? "WRONG DECISIONS"

Dr. ABDUL KALAM
Without your involvement you can't succeed. With your involvement you can't fail.

Dr. ABDUL KALAM
You are not responsible for what people think about you.
But you are responsible for what you give them to think about you.

STANLEY FERRARD
A man is lucky if he is the first love of a Woman.
A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man.

CHARLES DICKENS
Write your Sad times in Sand, Write your Good times in Stone.

GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
Behind every successful man, there is an untold pain in his heart.

BILL JACOBS
It's better to lose your Ego to the one you Love,
than to lose the one you LOVE because of EGO.

JOHN KEATS
Don't make promise when you are in JOY .. Don't reply when you are SAD.
Don't take decisions when you are ANGRY.. Think twice, Act wise.
BE happy...!

Taken from Adil's "Golden Words"

The Habitual Mistake

2010-02-14T00:15:00.002+07:00

An employee walks into the Accounts office and says "What is the meaning of this. I have been paid $200 less than what was decided upon."

The Accountant replies "I know about it, but you did not complain when we paid $200 extra by mistake last month."

The employee snaps back "Yeah, I can bear with occasional mistakes but when you make it a habit I think I need to report."

Taken from Adil's "The Habitual Mistake"

Heaven

2010-02-14T00:11:00.000+07:00

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.

She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello - How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.

"Which word?" the woman asked.

"Love."

The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.

While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. "I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.

"Which word?" her husband asked.

"Czechoslovakia."

Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry... There will be Hell to pay later!

Taken from Adil's "Heaven"

Taxi Driver

2010-02-14T00:04:00.001+07:00

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "

The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

Taken from Adil's "Taxi Driver"

Sex Life

2010-02-13T23:51:00.001+07:00

A guy went to a psychiatrist because he was having severe problems with his sex life. The psychiatrist asked him a lot of questions, but didn't seem to be getting a clear picture of the problems.

Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your girlfriend's face while you're having sex?"

"Well, yes, I did once."

"Well, how did she look?"

"Oh boy, she looked VERY angry!"

At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further.

Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your girlfriend's face once during sex, that seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw her face that time?"

"She was watching us through the window".

Taken from Adil's "Sex Life"

Proudy Red Rose

2010-02-13T23:48:00.000+07:00

One beautiful spring day a red rose blossomed in a forest. Many kinds of trees and plants grew there. As the rose looked around, a pine tree nearby said, "What a beautiful flower. I wish I was that lovely."

Another tree said, "Dear pine, do not be sad, we can not have everything."

The rose turned its head and remarked, "It seems that I am the most beautiful plant in this forest."

A sunflower raised its yellow head and asked, "Why do you say that? In this forest there are many beautiful plants. You are just one of them." The red rose replied, "I see everyone looking at me and admiring me."

Then the rose looked at a cactus and said, "Look at that ugly plant full of thorns!" The pine tree said, "Red rose, what kind of talk is this? Who can say what beauty is? You have thorns too."

The proud red rose looked angrily at the pine and said, "I thought you had good taste! You do not know what beauty is at all. You can not compare my thorns to that of the cactus."

"What a proud flower", thought the trees.

The rose tried to move its roots away from the cactus, but it could not move. As the days passed, the red rose would look at the cactus and say insulting things, like: This plant is useless? How sorry I am to be his neighbor."

The cactus never got upset and he even tried to advise the rose, saying, "God did not create any form of life without a purpose."

Spring passed, and the weather became very warm. Life became difficult in the forest, as the plants and animals needed water and no rain fell. The red rose began to wilt. One day the rose saw sparrows stick their beaks into the cactus and then fly away, refreshed.

This was puzzling, and the red rose asked the pine tree what the birds were doing. The pine tree explained that the birds got water from the cactus. "Does it not hurt when they make holes?" asked the rose.

"Yes, but the cactus does not like to see any birds suffer," replied the pine.

The rose opened its eyes in wonder and said, "The cactus has water?"

"Yes you can also drink from it. The sparrow can bring water to you if you ask the cactus for help."

The red rose felt too ashamed of its past words and behavior to ask for water from the cactus, but then it finally did ask the cactus for help. The cactus kindly agreed and the birds filled their beaks with water and watered the rose's roots.

**********

Lesson to learn from the Story : Thus the rose and all of us learned a lesson and never judged anyone by their appearance again.

Taken from Adil's "Proudy Red Rose"

A Nice Lesson..!

2010-02-13T23:42:00.000+07:00

Once a boy went to a shop with his mother. The shop keeper looked at the small cute child and showed him a bottle with sweets

And said 'Dear Child..u can take the sweets...

But the child didn't take. The shop keeper was surprised.. Such a small child he is and why is he not taking the sweets from the bottle. Again he said take the sweets....

Now the mother also heard that and said.. Take the sweets dear.. Yet he didn't take... The shopkeeper seeing the child not taking the sweets... He himself took the sweets and gave to the child. The child was happy to get two hands full of sweets.

While returning home the Mother asked the child... Why didn't you take the sweets, when the shop keeper told you to take?..

Can you guess the response: Child replies... Mom! My hands are very small and if I take the sweets I can only take few.. But now you see when uncle gave with his big hands.... How many more sweets I got!

Moral: When we take we may get little but when God gives... HE gives us more beyond our expectations. .. More than what we can hold..!!

Taken from Adil's "A Nice Lesson..!"

Management and Engineers

2010-02-13T23:38:00.002+07:00

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.

She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."

The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am", replied the man.

"How did you know?"

"Well, answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more."

The man below responded, "You must be in management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going.You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems?!!"

BOTTOM LINE: just imagine
the management guys who are basically engineers... no wonder!!!!!

Taken from Adil's "Management & Engineers"

Yang Terbaik

2010-02-13T23:00:00.000+07:00

Ada cerita tentang seorang tukang yang telah bekerja puluhan tahun dan ingin pensiun.
Ketika ia pamit, kontraktor yang mempekerjakannya memintanya untuk membuatkan sebuah rumah lagi.
Si tukang yang sudah sangat ingin pensiun, tak begitu senang mendapat tugas terakhir ini.
Maka ia bekerja setengah hati. Ia tak sungguh-sungguh memilih material maupun mengerjakan bagian-bagiannya.
Pokoknya ia ingin segera selesai dan bebas tugas. Maka rumah itu tak memiliki kualitas terbaik yang sebenarnya bisa ia berikan.

Begitu rumah itu jadi, segera ia serahkan kuncinya kepada si kontraktor. Namun si kontraktor mengembalikannya lagi kepada si tukang dengan ucapan, “Terimalah, rumah ini adalah hadiah untukmu dan keluargamu.”
Betapa menyesal si tukang, sebab jika ia tahu rumah itu akan ia tempati, pasti ia membangunnya dengan cara yang sangat berbeda!

Kehidupan yang kita bangun tiap-tiap hari, ibarat rumah yang kelak akan kita tinggali. Maka bahan dan cara yang kita pakai saat membangun, merupakan tanggung jawab dan pilihan pribadi kita.
Pertanyaannya, sudahkah kita selalu memberi pemikiran terbaik, usaha terbaik, serta keputusan terbaik ketika membangun hidup ini, sehingga kita mencapai tujuan Tuhan menciptakan kita?
Kita tak ingin menyesal melihat hidup kita di akhir tahun kelak, mari memulai tahun ini dengan melihat tujuan akhir.
Mari capai tujuan akhir kita dengan pengabdian terbaik setiap hari!
HIDUP MENCAPAI TUJUAN TERBAIK KETIKA HATI MAU MEMPERSEMBAHKAN YANG TERBAIK.

Taken from a friend's e-mail

Sukses

2010-02-13T22:39:00.001+07:00

Sukses tidak ada hubungan dengan menjadi kaya raya.
Sukses itu tidak serumit / serahasia seperti kata Kiyosaki / Tung Desem Waringin / The Secret.
Sukses itu tidak perlu dikejar.
SUKSES adalah ANDA!
Karena kesuksesan terbesar ada pada diri anda sendiri...

Bagaimana Anda tercipta dari pertarungan jutaan sperma untuk membuahi 1 ovum, itu adalah sukses pertama Anda!
Bagaimana Anda bisa lahir dengan anggota tubuh sempurna tanpa cacat, itulah kesuksesan Anda kedua...
Ketika Anda ke sekolah bahkan bisa menikmati studi S1, di saat tiap menit ada 10 siswa drop out karena tidak mampu untuk membayar SPP, itulah sukses Anda ketiga...
Ketika Anda bisa bekerja di perusahaan bilangan segitiga emas, di saat 46 juta orang menjadi pengangguran, itulah kesuksesan Anda keempat...
Ketika Anda masih bisa makan tiga kali sehari, di saat ada 3 juta orang mati kelaparan setiap bulannya, itulah kesuksesan Anda yang kelima...
Sukses terjadi setiap hari, Namun Anda tidak pernah menyadarinya. ..

Saya sangat tersentuh ketika menonton film "Click!" yang dibintangi Adam Sandler, "Family comes first",begitu kata-kata terakhir kepada anaknya sebelum dia meninggal...
Saking sibuknya Si Adam Sandler ini mengejar kesuksesan, ia sampai tidak sempat meluangkan waktu untuk anak dan istrinya, bahkan tidak sempat menghadiri hari pemakaman ayahnya sendiri. Keluarganya pun berantakan, istrinya yang cantik menceraikannya, anaknya tidak mengenal siapa ayahnya...

Sukses selalu dibiaskan oleh penulis buku laris supaya bukunya bisa terus menerus menjadi best seller dengan menggambarkan bahwa sukses menjadi hal yg rumit dan sukar didapatkan...
Sukses tidak melulu soal harta, rumah mewah, mobil sport, jam Rolex, pensiun muda, menjadi pengusaha, punya kolam renang / helikopter, punya istri cantik seperti istri Donald Trump dan resort mewah di Karibia...
Sukses sejati adalah hidup dengan penuh syukur atas segala rahmat Tuhan, sukses yang sejati adalah menikmati dan bersyukur atas setiap detik kehidupan Anda.
Pada saat Anda gembira, Anda gembira sepenuhnya. Sedangkan pada saat Anda sedih, Anda sedih sepenuhnya. Setelah itu Anda sudah harus bersiap lagi menghadapi episode yang baru.

Sukses sejati adalah hidup benar di jalan Allah. Hidup baik, tidak menipu, apalagi scam, saleh dan selalu rendah hati.
Sukses itu tidak lagi menginginkan kekayaan ketimbang kemiskinan, tidak lagi menginginkan kesembuhan ketimbang sakit.
Sukses sejati adalah bisa menerima sepenuhnya kelebihan, keadaan, dan kekurangan Anda apa adanya dengan penuh syukur..

Pernahkah Anda menyadari bahwa Anda sebenarnya tidak membeli suatu barang dengan uang. Uang hanyalah alat tukar. Anda sebenarnya membeli rumah dengan waktu Anda. Ya, Anda mungkin harus kerja siang malam utk bayar KPR selama 15 tahun atau beli mobil / motor kredit selama 3 tahun.
Itu semua sebenarnya Anda dapatkan dari membarter waktu Anda. Anda menjual waktu Anda dari pagi hingga malam kepada penawar tertinggi untuk mendapatkan uang supaya bisa beli makanan, pulsa telepon dan lain-lain...

Aset terbesar Anda bukanlah rumah / mobil Anda, tapi diri Anda sendiri. Itu sebabnya mengapa orang pintar bisa digaji puluhan kali lipat dari orang bodoh...
Semakin berharga diri Anda, semakin mahal orang mau membeli waktu Anda...
Itu sebabnya kenapa harga 2 jam Kiyosaki yang berbicara ngalor ngidul di seminar bisa dibayar 200 juta atau harga 2 jam seminar Pak Tung bisa mencapai 100 juta!!!
Itu sebabnya kenapa Nike berani membayar Tiger Woods dan Michael Jordan sebesar 200 juta dollar, hanya untuk memakai produk Nike.
Suatu produk bermerek menjadi mahal / berharga bukan karena mereknya, tetapi karena produk tsb dipakai oleh seseorang....
Itu sebabnya bola basket bekas Michael Jordan diperebutkan dan bisa terjual 80 juta dollar, sedangkan bola basket bekas dengan merek sama, bila kita jual harganya justru malah turun...

Hidup ini kok lucu, kita seperti mengejar fatamorgana. Bila dilihat dari jauh, mungkin kita melihat air / emas. Namun ketika kita kejar dengan segenap tenaga kita dan akhirnya kita sampai, yang kita lihat hanyalah pantulan sinar matahari / corn flakes saja.

Oh... ternyata... lucu bila setelah Anda membaca tulisan di atas namun Anda masih mengejar fatamorgana tersebut ketimbang menghabiskan waktu Anda yang sangat berharga bersama dengan orangtua yang begitu mencintai Anda, memeluk hangat suami / istri / kekasih Anda atau pun mengatakan "I love you" kepada orang-orang yang anda cintai: orang tua, istri, suami, anak, atau sahabat-sahabat Anda.

Lakukanlah ini selagi Anda masih punya waktu, selagi Anda masih sempat. Anda tidak pernah tahu kapan Anda akan meninggal. Mungkin besok pagi, Mungkin nanti malam. LIFE is so SHORT. Enjoy Your Life. LIFE is so SHORT my dear friend....

Taken from my friend's e-mail

Bill Gates

2010-01-20T03:08:00.002+07:00

Microsoft's Bill Gates decided not to invest further in Punjab after receiving a letter from Mr Banta Singh.

To : Bill Gates, Microsoft
From : Banta Singh of Punjab
Date : 1 April 2009
Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates, We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice..

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot to trace the key with this 'find 'button, but was unable to trace.
Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer'. When will you provide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that?

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please does not provide 'MySecret Places'.
I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my officehours.

Regards,Banta

Last one Mr. Bill Gates
P.S: “ Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?

Taken from one of my friend's e-mails

Mouse Trap Story

2009-07-18T05:21:00.001+07:00

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package.

What food might this contain? The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning : There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me." "I cannot be bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The pig sympathized, but said, I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. "Be assured you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow and said "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose." So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house -- like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught.

The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital, and she returned home with a fever.

Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.

But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.

The farmer's wife did not get well; she died.

So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.

The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.

So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember -- when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.

We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.

REMEMBER ---- EACH OF US IS A VITAL THREAD IN ANOTHER PERSON'S TAPESTRY; OUR LIVES ARE WOVEN TOGETHER FOR A REASON

Taken from "Mouse Trap Story" by Adil

Twenty Dollars

2009-07-18T05:14:00.000+07:00

Sometimes we just need to be reminded!

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill.
In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"
Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.
He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it?"
Still the hands were up in the air.

Well, he replied, "What if I do this?" and he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.
"Now, who still wants it?"
Still the hands went into the air.

My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.
No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.
Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE and WHOSE WE ARE.

You are special - Don't EVER forget it."

Count your blessings, not your problems. "And remember: amateurs built the ark ..professionals built the Titanic.

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

For the Christian Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.
"In prayer, expect setbacks, but refuse retreat." R. Eastman
"Salvation: Nothing to earn much to Learn." Adrian Rogers
Do your best, bring out the best in others,
Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is,
Tell the problem how Great the Lord is!

Taken from "Twenty Dollars" by Keith Overturf

Who’s Smarter

2009-05-21T02:05:00.001+07:00

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”

The man replied, “I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!”

The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle, and extends it back to the woman.

Politely, the woman refuses to accept the bottle.

The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”

The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police…”

Taken from "Who’s Smarter"

Who Was First?

2009-05-21T01:59:00.001+07:00

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve called out to God…”Lord, I have a problem!”

“What’s the problem, Eve?”

“Lord, I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I’m just not happy.”

“Why is that, Eve?” came the reply from above.

“Lord, I am lonely. And I’m sick to death of apples.”

“Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you.”

“What’s a ‘man’, Lord?”

“This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he’ll give you a hard time. But, he’ll be bigger, faster and more muscular than you. He’ll also need your advice to think properly. He’ll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about, hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack.”

“Sounds great,” says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. “What’s the catch, Lord?”

“Yeah, well…. you can have him on one condition.”

“What’s that, Lord?”

“You’ll have to let him believe that I made him first.”

Taken from "Who Was First?"

Proof Girls Are Evil

2009-05-21T01:56:00.000+07:00

Some really smart mathematician dedicated his life to writing this equation. Finally proof that girls are, in fact, evil.

Taken from "Proof Girls Are Evil"

Three Men And A River

2009-05-21T01:39:00.000+07:00

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging, violent river.

Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed: “God, please give me the strength to cross the river” Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed: “God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river” Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed: “God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river” Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.

Taken from "Three Men And A River"

Pleasing A Women

2009-05-21T01:33:00.001+07:00

A new, special kind of store just opened up in a Manhatten shopping center. This store sells husbands, yes that’s right – women can browse men from floors of choices.

Actually, there are 6 floors of men, and with an increase in the floor level bringing an positive attributes… a nifty setup – with a catch. As you open the door to any floor, you may choose a man from that floor but if you go up, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. Interesting, right?

So a young woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?” And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. “Hmmm, better” she says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”

The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. “Wow!” exclaims the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!” And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. “Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?” So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 – You are visitor 7,548,652 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor only exists as proof that women are impossible to please.

Taken from "Pleasing A Women"

And God Said “Let There Be Bridge”

2009-05-21T01:24:00.001+07:00

A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.” The biker pulled over and said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.”

The Lord said, “Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for Me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.”

The biker thought about it for a long time Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives. I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”

The Lord replied, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?.”

Taken from 'And God Said “Let There Be Bridge”'

A Cuckoo Of A Night Out

2009-05-21T01:19:00.001+07:00

The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’ I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him ‘MIDNIGHT’… he didn’t seem p***d off in the least………. Whew, I got away with that one!

Then he said ‘We need a new cuckoo clock.’ When I asked him why, he said, ‘Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times then said ‘oh sh*t.’ Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

Taken from "A Cuckoo Of A Night Out"

10 Commandments of Marriage

2009-04-21T22:27:00.001+07:00

Commandment 1

Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.

***********

Commandment 2

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say; talk in your sleep.

***********

Commandment 3

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

***********

Commandment 4

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

***********

Commandment 5

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

***********

Commandment 6

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

***********

Commandment 7

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

***********

Commandment 8

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.

But the law allows only one wife.

***********

Commandment 9

Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives treat husbands like toxic waste.

***********

Commandment 10

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

***********

Bonus Commandment ( Story )

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

"It really works!"

SMILE, IT'S TAX FREE!

Taken from "10 Commandments of Marriage" by Adil.

Oh, Those Darn Lawyers

2009-04-21T22:24:00.001+07:00

Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet. Amanpreet agrees and they're off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.

"Help me find my ball. Look over there," he says to Jon. After a few minutes, neither has any luck. Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, Amanpreet secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. "I've found my ball!" he announces.

"After all of the years we've been partners and playing together," Jon says, "you'd cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks?"

"What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there!"

"And you're a liar, too!" Jon says. "I'll have you know I've been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!"

Taken from "Oh, Those Darn Lawyers" by Adil.

Movies and Staying Connected in Marriage, Marriage Message 28

2009-03-18T00:19:00.002+07:00

By Cindy and Steve Wright

"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight" (Philippians 1:19). And that is our hope for you -- that you'll continually explore new ways to increase your love connection with each other in your marriage in "knowledge and depth of insight" otherwise, you're in danger of drifting apart in your relationship.

"It's possible to be married to someone for 35 years and still not know them because you never take the time to explore the deepest recesses of their heart" (Dr David Jeremiah). Being married and living in the same house doesn't equal knowing each other deeply. You'd think it would, but life has a way of shoving us apart unless we make the intentional effort to stay connected.

Before marriage, we spent quality time with our spouse which helped us to fall in love with them in the first place. So why not keep doing what it takes to CONTINUE in your love with each other? If you don't continually do what it takes to connect with each other in meaningful ways, your relationship is in danger of becoming stagnant. And we don't mean just going somewhere together sometimes but never really talking WITH each other. Too often married couples fall into the bad habit of talking AT each other rather than WITH each other. And that's cause for trouble!

Recently, we've given you a variety of suggestions in the Marriage Messages for how to stay connected in marriage. We've given you the top ten reasons for "Dating Your Spouse", the "22 Minute Date Idea", the "10 Second Kiss Idea" (which you can find in Marriage Message #26), "Marriage Maintenance Measures" as well as other ideas. And you can find even more ideas at www.marriagemissions.com in the "Romantic Ideas" section. Plus, we have articles posted on the web site for those of you who are geographically away from your spouse.

But we'd like to give you another idea to help you connect, and that is by watching movies together and discussing different aspects of the movies. Make it a fun and informative time as well -- getting to know more about each other through this avenue of connecting. We've found a number of tools that could help you in this.

Recently, we mentioned that the movie "Fireproof" has a wonderful pro-marriage message. It's now out on DVD. There is also a book that goes along with the movie called "The Love Dare" that we believe can help your marriage. Plus, we have "Fireproof Discussion Pages" posted on our web site to use as a tool to help you connect. Even if you never see the movie (which we hope you can and will), the Discussion Pages has content that could help your marriage.

There is also a "Movie Discussion Guide" (from Smartmarriages.com) for the movie "The Story of Us" starring Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer. The guide provides excellent discussion questions designed to give couples deeper insights into
their relationship. We must warn you though, that although the movie is very pro-marriage in its content, it has quite a bit of profanity in it. We found it difficult to get past the profanity, but we're glad we did because the message of the movie and the helpfulness of the discussion guide is truly something that could help couples. Again, you will benefit the most if you see the movie, but the Discussion Guide itself makes some great points.

We have a link to the discussion guide (that you can download for your use)posted on our web site in this Marriage Message. (If you don't have access to the internet to find and then download the guide, perhaps you can find a friend who can do it for you.)

And for those of you in the U.S. and Canada and other parts of the world that can view American Movies, you could find the following web sites helpful in guiding you so you know more about the contents of the movies you could watch to know if you want to view them on your date nights):

www.pluggedinonline.com -- Their mission as a Focus on the Family publication is to equip adults, parents, youth leaders, and ministers with essential tools that will enable them to understand, navigate and impact the culture in which they live.

www.christianitytoday.com/movies -- This award-winning website is devoted to film reviews, interviews and commentary, written from a biblical perspective. Their mission is to "inform and equip Christian moviegoers to make discerning choices about films through insightful reviews and interviews, educated opinion,and relevant news -- all from a biblical world-view."

www.movieguide.org -- This is a ministry dedicated to redeeming the values of the mass media according to biblical principles, by influencing entertainment industry executives and helping families make wise media choices.

www.crosswalk.com/movies -- while this web site is not primarily dedicated to movie reviews, they are a great resource on many levels (and this part of their web site deals with movies). They are a religious corporation dedicated to bring glory to God by building up the Church.

www.christiananswers.net/spotlight/home.html -- The primary goal of this web site is to provide accurate, biblical answers on a wide variety of questions asked by Christians and non-Christians. This part of their web site deals with movies and DVD's.

http://christianity.about.com/od/christianmovies/Christian_Movies_and_Christian_MovieReviews.htm -- This is a Christian movie resource page with Christian movie reviews, interviews with Christian actors, favorite Christian movies and top Christian movie picks and more.

These web sites can help you be selective in what you view. But always keep in mind what the Bible warns: "I will set before my eyes no vile thing" (Psalm 101:3). 1 Corinthians 6 tells us to "Flee from s-xual immorality." Plus, Jesus said, "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustful-ly has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28). In other words... stay true to each other and abstain from viewing that which brings another person visually or physically into your relationship. Connect with your spouse and not with anyone else!

We hope you will find this helpful in drawing you closer together as husband and wife.

God Bless!

For the Christian Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.
"In prayer; expect setbacks, but refuse retreat. R. Eastman
Do your best, bring out the best in others,
Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is,
tell the problem how Great the Lord is!

Taken from "Movies and Staying Connected in Marriage, Marriage Message 28"

Doctor's Medical Certificate

2009-03-18T00:13:00.001+07:00

I Certified that Mr. /Miss ____________ ____ _ , working in your organization, is suffering from 'time-bound' illness.

Due to this, he/she will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a week.

Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe health problems.

The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements will be far more compared to the gains made by stretching beyond 8 hours.

It is also warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking news such as " Come over weekend..", " Let's work on holiday..", " Leave cannot be granted. ." etc.

Which can directly lead to heart strokes.

In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust your deadlines in accordance with the convenience of my patient.

Sd/- Dr. Impatient

Taken from "Doctor's Medical Certificate" by Adil

How Guys Select the Girl

2009-03-18T00:05:00.002+07:00

How guys select the girl they want to marry?

A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.

He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.

She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man is impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.

She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market.

She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.

She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money.

Guess which lady he chose to marry?

Think like a man . . .

(scroll down for the answer)

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He married the most beautiful one!!!!!!

Men are Men.... Obviously!!! :)

Taken from "How Guys Select the Girl" from Adil

Wife from Hell

2009-03-17T23:53:00.003+07:00

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.”The driver says, “Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.”

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: “Now don’t be silly dear, you know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.”As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, “Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once?”

The wife smiles demurely and says, “You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.”As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, “Darn it, woman, can’t you keep your mouth shut?”

The officer frowns and says, “And I notice that you’re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That’s an automatic $75 fine.”The driver says, “Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.”

The wife says, “Now, dear, you know very well that you didn’t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you’re driving.”

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, “WHY DON’T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??”

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, “Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma’am?”

U'll love this part....

'Only when he's been drinking.'

Taken from "Wife from Hell" by Adil

Trust

2009-02-17T18:33:00.001+07:00

When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go,
Only 1 of 2 things will happen,
Either he'll catch you when you fall,
Or he'll teach you how to fly!

The power of one sentence! God is going to shift things around for you today
and let things work in your favor.

God closes doors no man can open &
God opens doors no man can close. . .

Have a blessed day and remember to be a blessing.

Taken from "Trust" by Sandi KML

Black and White

2009-02-13T18:26:00.001+07:00

In life, a lesson learned in your past that you will never forget completely.When I was in elementary school, I got into a major argument with a boy in my class. I have forgotten what the argument was about, but I have never forgotten the lesson learned that day.

I was convinced that "I" was right and "he" was wrong - and he was just as convinced that "I" was wrong and "he" was right.

The teacher decided to teach us a very important lesson. She brought us up to the front of the class and placed him on one side of her desk and me on the other. In the middle of her desk was a large, round object. I could clearly see that it was black. She asked the boy what color the object was. "White," he answered.

I couldn't believe he said the object was white, when it was obviously black! Another argument started between my classmate and me, this time about the color of the object.

The teacher told me to go stand where the boy was standing and told him to come stand where I had been. We changed places, and now she asked me what the color of the object was. I had to answer, "White." It was an object with two differently colored sides, and from his viewpoint it was white. Only from my side was it black.

My teacher taught me a very important lesson learned that day: You must stand in the other person's shoes and look at the situation through their eyes in order to truly understand their perspective.

Taken from "Black & White" by Adil.

Generous Lawyer

2009-02-13T18:24:00.001+07:00

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... No."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"Or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

Taken from "Generous Lawyer" by Adil.

19 Horses

2009-02-13T18:21:00.001+07:00

One rich man owned 19 horses when he died. In his last will and teastament he had written that upon his death, half the horses he owned should go to his only son; one fourth to the village temple and one fifth to the faithful servant.

The village elders could not stop scratching their heads. How can they give half of the 19 horses to the son? You cannot cut up a horse. They puzzled over this dilemma for more than two weeks and then decided to send for a wise man who was living in a neighbouring village.

The wise man came riding on his horse and asked the villagers if he can be of any help to them. The village elders told him about the rich man's last will and testament which stated that half of the (19) horses must be given to his only son, one fourth must go to the temple and one fifth to the faithful servant.

The wise man said he will immediately solve their problem without any delay whatsoever. He had the 19 horses placed in a row standing next to one another. Then he added his own horse as the 20 th horse. Now he went about giving half of the 20 horses – that is ten horses to the son. One fourth of 20- that is 5 horses were given to the temple committee. One fifth of twenty- that is 4 horses were given to the faithful servant. Ten plus five plus four made 19 horses. The remaining 20 th horse was his own which he promptly mounted, spoke a few inspiring words, and rode back home.

The villagers were simply dumfounded, full of disbelief and filled with admiration. And the parting words of the wise man were inscribed in their hearts and minds which they greatly cherished and passed on to their succeeding generations till today.

The wise man said: In our daily lives, in our daily affairs, simply add God's name and then go about facing the day's happenings. Ever come across problems in life that are seemingly insurmountable? (Like the villagers, do we feel that such problems cannot be solved?).

The wise man continued: Add the God Principle in our daily lives and the problems will become lighter and eventually will disappear. In the manner of the ice which, with the addition of the heat principle will turn into water, and that will eventually evaporate as steam and disappear. And how do we add God's name in our daily lives? Through prayers, filled with true love and devotion with sincerity of purpose and dedication that only total faith can bring about. Meditation is a powerful means of directing the mind Godward.

But without true love and devotion entering into it, it remains like a boat without water. It is not difficult to push a boat that is floating in water, but extremely hard to drag the same boat on dry land.

In the same way, if our life's boat floats on the waters of true love and devotion, we can sail easily in it. The principle of love of God and devotion with total faith, (like water) makes easy the voyage of our lives. When the mind is pure and the heart full of simplicity and holiness, such a devotee becomes an instrument in the service of the Lord.

Taken from "19 Horses" by Adil.

Two Angels

2009-02-04T21:53:00.001+07:00

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family.

The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a space in the cold basement.

As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied... "Things aren't always what they seem".

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife.

After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel "how could you have let this happen!? The first man had everything, yet you helped him," she accused. "The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let their cow die."

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall.

Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it. Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave her the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."

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Sometimes this is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You might not know it until some time later.

Taken from "Two Angels" by Adil

Puisi Poligami

2009-02-04T21:52:00.001+07:00

Istriku...
jika engkau bumi, akulah mentari
aku menyinari kamu, kamu mengharapkan aku

Ingatlah bahtera yang kita kayuh...
mentari menyinari bumi, ah silau...

tapi, aku ingat satu hal,
bahwa bukan hanya bumi yang disinari mentari.
jadi relakanlah aku menyinari planet lain
menebar sinarku, menyampaikan faedah adanya aku.
Karena itu sudah kodrati

jawabannya :

Suamiku......
Bila Kau memang mentari
Aku rela kau berikan sinarmu tuk planet lain
Karena mereka juga butuh sinarmu.
Dan aku pun tak kan pernah kekurangan cahayamu

Tapi bila kau hanya sebuah lilin
Janganlah bermimpi menyinari planet lain
Kamar kitapun belum sanggup kau terangi

Berkacalah pada cermin disudut sana
Di tengah remang-remang cahayamu
Lihatlah siapa dirimu, mentari atau lilin ???

Buat Yang Lagi Suntuk

2009-02-04T21:49:00.000+07:00

Takkan lari Nunung dikejar
'si Nunung diikat di pohon'

Air susu dibalas dengan Air Mail
'tukang susu surat-suratan sama tukang pos'

Sambil menyelam buang air
'penyelam yang jorok'

Ma' lu bertanya, Ma' gue yang jawab
'emak lu dan emak gue main kuis piramida'

Wong ompong nyaring bunyinya
'artis Leila Sari'

Ke bukit sama mendaki, ke lurah bikin KTP
'kantor kelurahannya di atas bukit'

Nasir sudah menjadi tukang bubur
'si Nasir alih profesi, dulunya tukang siomay'

Ada ubi, ada talas, ada pisang rebus...
'tukang bajigur'

Tak ada gading yang tak retak
'Mal Kelapa Gading walaupun bagus, temboknya pasti ada yang retak'

Alon-alon asal kelakson
'naik sepeda mini'

Karena nila setitik rusak susu sebelahnya

Cepat kaki, ringan tangan
'atlet lari maraton'

Tak ada rotan Raam Punjabi
'judul sinetron baru di RCTI'

Maksud hati memeluk Nunung apa daya gaji tak sampai
'si Nunung matre'

We are Men :-)

2009-02-04T21:32:00.001+07:00

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners.

The Lamaze class was in full swing.

The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

"Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. "Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"

The room was very quiet.

Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the instructor. "Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

Taken from "We are Men" by Adil

After 50 Years

2009-02-04T21:26:00.002+07:00

An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling a sleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.

She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said. "Then you use to bite my neck.

"Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going ?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"

Taken from "After 50 Years" by Adil

Bad Hearing

2009-02-04T21:20:00.001+07:00

A old man told his doctor, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do?"

The doctor replied, "Try this test first. When your wife is at the sink doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question. If she doesn't respond, keep moving closer, asking the question until she hears you."

He went home and saw his wife preparing dinner. Standing fifteen feet behind her he said, "What's for dinner, honey?" Hearing no reply, he moved up to ten feet behind her and repeated the question. Still no reply, so he moved to five feet. Finally he stood directly behind her and said, "Honey, what's for dinner tonight?"

She turned around and yelled in his face, "For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN, you deaf old fart!"

Taken from "Bad Hearing" by Adil

Rick Warren, the Author of Purpose Driven Life

2009-02-04T21:15:00.000+07:00

You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having "wealth" from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, "Purpose Driven Life " author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California.

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said: "People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years i n eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort."

God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in
Christ likeness. This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that
it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your
life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into
self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain." But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.

It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people. You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.

It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or
notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.

Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist
the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?

Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I
want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.

Future Fireman

2009-02-04T20:40:00.001+07:00

A guy meets a childhood pal.

"What are you doing for yourself these days?"

"I'm a fireman."

"Oh yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman."

"Well, if you want some good advice, you've got to install in your house a pole that will go to the basement so your kid can practice, 'cause the hardest thing for a fireman is to jump off into space and catch that pole in the middle of the night."

Ten years later, the two guys happen to meet again.

"Well, did your son become a fireman?"

"No, but I have two daughters who are "dancers."

Taken from "Future Fireman" by Adil

Bacaan bagi yang SEDANG MENCARI PASANGAN, TELAH MEMPEROLEH PASANGAN dan TELAH MENIKAH

2009-01-25T13:18:00.002+07:00

Alkisah seorang raja yg kaya raya & sangat baik. Ia mempunyai banyak sekali emas & kuningan. Karena terlalu banyak sehingga antara emas & kuningan tercampur menjadi satu.

Suatu hari raja yg baik hati ini memberikan hadiah emas kepada seluruh rakyatnya. Dia membuka gudangnya lalu mempersilahkan rakyatnya mengambil kepingan emas terserah mereka. Karena antara emas & kuningan tercampur menjadi satu sehingga sulit sekali dibedakan mana yg emas & mana yg kuningan, lalu mana yg emasnya 24 karat & mana yg emasnya hanya 1 karat.

Namun karena ada peraturan dari Sang Raja, yaitu bila mereka sudah MEMILIH & MENGAMBIL SATU dari emas itu, mereka tidak boleh mengembalikannya lagi. Tetapi raja menjanjikan bagi mereka yg mendapat emas hanya 1 karat atau mereka yg mendapatkan kuningan, mereka dapat bekerja di kebun raja & merawat pemberian raja itu dengan baik, maka raja AKAN MENAMBAH & MEMBERIKAN KADAR KARAT itu sedikit demi sedikit.

Mendengar itu bersukacitalah rakyatnya, sambil mengelu-elukan rajanya. Mereka datang dari penjuru tempat dan satu persatu dari mereka dengan berhati-hati mengamat-amati benda-benda itu. Waktu yg diberikan kepada mereka semua ialah SATU SETENGAH HARI, dengan perhitungan SETENGAH HARI UTK MEMILIH, SETENGAH HARI UTK MERENUNGKAN & SETENGAH HARI LAGI UTK MEMUTUSKAN.

Para prajurit selalu siaga menjaga keamanan pemilihan emas tsb. Karena tidak jarang terjadi perebutan emas yg sama diantara mereka. Selama proses pemilihan berlangsung, seorang prajurit mencoba bertanya kpd salah seorang rakyatnya, 'Apa yg kau amat-amati, sehingga satu setengah hari kau habiskan waktumu di sini?'
Jawab orang itu: 'Tentu saja aku harus berhati-hati, aku harus mendapatkan emas 24 karat itu.'
Lalu tanya prajurit itu lagi: 'Seandainya emas 24 karat itu tidak pernah ada, atau hanya ada satu diantara setumpuk emas ini, apakah engkau masih saja mencarinya? Sedangkan waktumu sangat terbatas?'
Jawab orang itu lagi: 'Tentu saja tidak, aku akan mengambil emas terakhir yg ada ditanganku begitu waktuku habis.'

Lalu prajurit itu berkeliling & ia menjumpai seorang yg tampan, melihat perangainya ia adalah seorang kaya.
Bertanyalah prajurit itu kepadanya, 'Hai orang kaya apa yg kau cari di sini. Bukankah engkau sudah lebih dari cukup?'
Jawab orang kaya itu, 'Bagiku hidup adalah uang, kalau aku bisa mengambil emas ini tentu saja itu berarti menambah keuntunganku.'

Kemudian prajurit itu kembali mengawasi satu persatu dari mereka, maka tampak olehnya seseorang yg sejak satu hari ia selalu menggenggam kepingan emasnya. Lalu dihampirinya orang itu, 'Mengapa engkau diam di sini? Tidakkah engkau memilih emas-emas itu? Atau tekadmu sudah bulat untuk mengambil emas itu?'

Mendengar perkataan prajurit itu, orang ini hanya diam saja. Maka prajurit bertanya lagi,'Atau engkau yakin bahwa itulah emas 24 karat, sehingga engkau tidak lagi berusaha mencari yg lain?'
Orang itu masih terdiam, prajurit itu semakin penasaran. Lalu ia lebih mendekat lagi, 'Tidakkah engkau mendengar pertanyaanku?'

Sambil menatap prajurit, orang itu menjawab: 'Tuan,saya ini orang miskin. Saya tidak pernah tahu mana yg emas & mana yg kuningan. Tetapi HATI SAYA MEMILIH EMAS INI, saya pun tidak tahu berapa kadar emas ini. Atau jika ternyata emas ini hanya kuningan pun saya juga tidak tahu.'

'Lalu mengapa engkau tidak mencoba bertanya kepada mereka atau kepadaku kalau engkau tidak tahu.' Tanya prajurit itu lagi.
'Tuan, emas & kuningan ini milik raja. Jadi menurut saya hanya raja yg tahu mana yg emas & mana yg kuningan, mana yg 1 karat & mana yg 24 karat. Tetapi satu hal yg saya percaya, janji raja untuk mengubah kuningan menjadi emas, itu yg lebih penting.' Jawabnya lugu.

Prajurit ini semakin penasaran, 'Mengapa bisa begitu?'
'Bagi saya berapa pun kadar emas ini cukup buat saya. Karena kalau saya bekerja, saya membutuhkan waktu bertahun-tahun untuk membeli emas Tuan.'
Prajurit tampak tercengang mendengar jawaban dari orang ini, lalu ia melanjutkan perkataannya, 'Lagipula Tuan, peraturannya saya tidak boleh menukar emas yg sudah saya ambil.'

'Tidakkah engkau mengambil emas-emas yg lain & menukarnya sekarang selagi masih ada waktu?' Tanya prajurit lagi.
'Saya SUDAH MENGGUNAKAN WAKTU ITU, kini waktu setengah hari terakhir saya, inilah saatnya saya mengambil keputusan. Jika saya GANTIKAN EMAS INI DENGAN YANG LAIN, BELUM TENTU SAYA MENDAPAT YG LEBIH BAIK DARI PUNYA SAYA INI. Saya memutuskan untuk mengabdi pada raja & merawat milik saya ini, untuk menjadikannya emas yg murni.'

Tak lama lagi lonceng istana berbunyi, tanda berakhir sudah kegiatan mereka. Lalu raja keluar & berdiri ditempat yg tinggi sambil berkata,'Wahai rakyatku yg kukasihi. Semua emas yg kau genggam itu adalah hadiah yg telah kuberikan. Sesuai dengan perjanjian, tidak seorang pun diperbolehkan menukar atau pun menyia-nyiakan hadiah itu. Jika didapati hal di atas maka orang itu akan MENDAPAT HUKUMAN karena ia tidak menghargai raja.'

Kata-kata raja itu disambut hangat oleh rakyatnya.. Lalu sekali lagi di hadapan rakyatnya raja ingin memberitahu tentang satu hal, 'Dan ketahuilah, bahwa sebenarnya tidak ada emas 24 karat itu. Hal ini dimaksudkan bahwa kalian semua harus mengabdi kepada kerajaan.. Dan hanya akulah yg dapat menambah jumlah karat itu, karena akulah yg memilikinya. Selama satu setengah hari, setengah hari yg kedua yaitu saat kuberikan waktu kepada kalian semua untuk merenungkan pilihan, kalian kutunggu untuk datang kepadaku menanyakan perihal emas itu.. Tetapi sayang sekali, hanya 1 orang yg datang kepadaku untuk menanyakannya.'

Demikianlah raja yg baik hati & bijaksana itu mengajar rakyatnya. Dan selama bertahun-tahun ia dengan sabar menambah karat satu persatu dari emas rakyatnya.

(Dikutip dari: 'When We Have to Choice' / Kumpulan Sharing & Cerpen)

Berharap melalui alkisah di atas kita dapat merefleksi diri dalam mencari pasangan hidup:

BAGI YANG SEDANG MENCARI PASANGAN (setengah hari untuk memilih)
MEMILIH memang boleh, tapi MANUSIA TIDAK ADA YG SEMPURNA, jangan lupa emas-emas itu milik sang raja jadi hanya dia yang tahu menahu masalah itu. Artinya setiap manusia milik Tuhan, jadi berdoalah untuk berkomunikasi denganNYA tentang pasangan anda.

BAGI YANG TELAH MEMPEROLEH PASANGAN (setengah hari untuk merenungkan)
Mungkin pertama kali Anda mengenal, si dia nampak emas 24 karat. Ternyata setelah bertahun-tahun kenal, si dia hanya berkadar 10 karat. Diluar, memang KITA DIHADAPKAN DENGAN BANYAK PILIHAN, sama dengan rakyat yang memilih emas tadi. Akan tetapi pada saat KITA SUDAH MENDAPATKANNYA BELUM TENTU WAKTU KITA MELEPASKANNYA KITA MENDAPAT YG LEBIH BAIK. Jadi jika dalam tahap ini Anda merasa telah mendapatkan dia, hal yang terbaik dilakukan ialah menilai secara objective siapa dia (karena itu KETERBUKAAN & KOMUNIKASI sangat penting dalam menjalin hubungan) dan MENYELARASKAN HATI anda bersamanya.. Begitu Anda tahu tentang HAL TERJELEK dalam dirinya sebelum Anda menikah itu lebih baik. Dengan demikian Anda tidak merasa shock setelah menikah. Tinggal BAGAIMANA ANDA MENERIMANYA. Anda mampu menerimanya atau tidak, Anda mengusahakan perubahannya atau tidak.. 'CINTA SELALU BERJUANG' Jangan anggap tidak pernah ada masalah dalam jalan cinta Anda. Justru jika dalam tahap ini Anda tidak pernah mengalami masalah dengan pasangan Anda (TIDAK PERNAH BERTENGKAR MUNGKIN) Anda malah harus berhati-hati, karena ini adalah hubungan yg tidak sehat, berarti banyak kepura-puraan yang ditampilkan dalam hubungan Anda. Yg terpenting adalah NIAT BAIK DIANTARA PASANGAN, sehingga dengan KOMITMEN & CINTA, SEGALA SESUATU SELALU ADA JALAN KELUARNYA. Meskipun dalam tahap ini Anda masih punya waktu setengah hari lagi untuk memutuskan, artinya Anda masih dapat berganti pilihan, akan tetapi PERTIMBANGKAN DENGAN BAIK hal ini.

BAGI YANG TELAH MENIKAH (setengah hari untuk memutuskan)
Dalam tahap ini, siapa pun dia berarti Anda telah mengambil keputusan untuk memilihnya. Jangan berpikir untuk mengambil keuntungan dari pasangan Anda. Jika ini terjadi berarti Anda EGOIS, sama halnya dengan orang kaya di atas. Dan dengan demikian Anda TIDAK PERNAH PUAS DENGAN DIRI PASANGAN ANDA, maka tidak heran banyak terjadi perselingkuhan. Anda tidak boleh merasa menyesal dengan pilihan Anda sendiri. Jangan kuatir raja selalu memperhatikan rakyatnya dan menambah kadar karat pada emasnya. Jadi percayalah kalau Tuhan pasti akan memperhatikan Anda dan DIA YANG PALING BERKUASA MENGUBAH SETIAP ORANG. Perceraian bukanlah solusi, sampai kapan kita harus menikah lalu bercerai, menikah lagi & bercerai lagi?? Ingatlah si dia adalah HADIAH, siapa pun dia terimalah dia karena
sekali lagi itulah pilihan Anda. Ingat ini adalah setengah hari terakhir yaitu waktu untuk memutuskan, setelah itu Anda tidak boleh menukar atau menyia-nyiakan emas Anda. Jadi peliharalah pasangan Anda sebagaimana HADIAH TERINDAH YANG TELAH TUHAN BERIKAN. Dan apa pun yang terjadi dengan pasangan Anda komunikasikanlah dengan Tuhan, KARENA DIA YANG MEMILIKI HATI SETIAP MANUSIA....

"Life is a theater. Invite your audience carefully."

2009-01-21T19:05:00.001+07:00

I came across this and it really made me think about all the people that I have allowed into my life and what influence they have had in my life, both good and bad. It made me realize that some people just don't need to be in my life if all they're going to have is a negative impact on my life. Life is too precious and short to surround yourself with negative people! Hope it touches you like it did me....

Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in our lives that need to be loved from a distance.

It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize, your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships or friendships!

Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?

When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don’t really understand, know or appreciate you?

The more you seek the love of God, quality, respect, growth, peace of mind and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

You cannot change the people around you....but you can change the people you are around! It Is Better To Be Alone, Than In The Wrong Company.

Thought of the day........

1 Corinthians 15:33 - Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." Tell me who your best friends are, and I will tell you who you are. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights. "A mirror reflects a man or woman's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he or she chooses." The simple but true fact of life is that we become like those with whom you closely associate - for the good and the bad.

The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity. As you grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are. Friends that don't help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you.

Consider this:
* Never receive counsel from unproductive people.
* Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not everyone has a right to speak into your life. We are certain to get the worst of the bargain when we exchange ideas with the wrong person.

Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere. With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it. We must be careful where we stop to inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships.

Happy moments? Praise God.

Difficult moments? Seek God.

Quiet moments? Worship God.

Painful moments? Trust God.

Every moment? Thank God.

If you see people without a smile today ... Give them one of yours.

God is STILL on the throne.

Taken from "Life is a theater. Invite your audience carefully." by Sandi KML (Bettie Boop Booper)

Let It Go

2009-01-20T18:46:00.006+07:00

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to . . . . . . . .

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains . . . . . . . . .

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth . . . . . . . .

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you . . . . . . . .

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge . . . . . . . .

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction . . . . . . . .

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents . . . . . .

LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude . . . . . . . .

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better . . . . . . . .

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him . .

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship . . . . . . . .

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves . . . . .

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed . . . . . . . .

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to . . . . . . . .

LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.

GOD is doing a new thing for 2009!!!

LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left. Think about it, and then . . . . . . . .

LET IT GO!!! "

The Battle is the Lord's!"

Taken from "Let It Go" by T. D. Jakes Ministries

The Mouse, the Frog, and the Hawk

2009-01-11T00:48:00.001+07:00

A Mouse who always lived on the land, by an unlucky chance, formed an intimate acquaintance with a Frog, who lived, for the most part, in the water. One day, the Frog was intent on mischief. He tied the foot of the Mouse tightly to his own. Thus joined together, the Frog led his friend the Mouse to the meadow where they usually searched for food.

After this, he gradually led him towards the pond in which he lived, until reaching the banks of the water, he suddenly jumped in, dragging the Mouse with him. The Frog enjoyed the water amazingly, and swam croaking about, as if he had done a good deed.

The unhappy Mouse was soon sputtered and drowned in the water, and his poor dead body floating about on the surface. A Hawk observed the foating Mouse from the sky, dove down and grabbed it with his talons, carrying it back to his nest.

The Frog, being still fastened to the leg of the Mouse, was also carried off a prisoner, and was eaten by the Hawk.

Moral of the story: "Choose your allies carefully."

Taken from "The Mouse, the Frog, and the Hawk" by Adil

The Monk and The Baby

2009-01-11T00:13:00.002+07:00

Once there was a monk who lived in a village. One day a young village girl became pregnant and was unmarried. She did not want to expose her boyfriend. Out of fear when her parents asked her who is responsible, she pointed her finger to that monk.

Her parents were infuriated. The next day, the whole village turned up to blame him. "How could you?" "You dirty old man!" "You are a disgrace!" "Get out of our village, you hypocrite!" Some villagers even threaten his life.

After listening to all the accusations, what he said was "Is that so?" and went back to meditate. Months went by, the young girl gave birth to a baby. The parents of the young girl were forced to find a father for the child.

The parents and the villagers went up to approach him saying "You are responsible for this baby, therefore you should bring up the baby!" Once again, he said "Is that so?" He took the young baby in his arms and went back.

By this time he has lost his reputation but it did not trouble him. He took very good care for this baby and he manages to obtain milk and everything the child needed from his neighbors.

After a year, the young girl felt ashamed and guilty and wanted to see her baby. She finally told the real story to her parents. When all the villagers came to know the truth, they all felt ashamed of having wrong him.

So all of them gathered and went to the monk asking for forgiveness. Once again, after listening to them, he said "Is that so?" He handed the baby back to the young girl.

*******

When you are right, one thousand peoples swearing that you are wrong does not matter. But when you are wrong, ten thousand peoples swearing that you are right will not make any difference.

Taken from "The Monk and The Baby" by Adil

Twenty Great One Liners

2009-01-10T23:59:00.001+07:00

1. Regular naps prevent old age... Especially if you take them while driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash.

5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... But whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

8. You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.

9. True friends stab you in the front.

10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

Taken from "Twenty Great One Liners" by Adil

Attitude

2009-01-10T23:46:00.002+07:00

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and ask the store owner for a phone call.

The store owner replied, "Sweety this is no a STD, but you can do one call"

The store owner observed and listened to the conversation:

The boy asked, "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?"

The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn."

"Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now." the boy replied.

The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn.

The little boy found more perseverance and offered, "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of North-Palm beach, Florida."

Again the woman answered in negative.

With a smile on his face, the little boy placed the receiver.

The store owner who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy and said," Son... I like your attitude. I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."

The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking my performance with the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!"

Taken from "Attitude" by Adil

Movies Titles in Java

2008-12-22T01:52:00.001+07:00

Enemy at the Gates -- Musuhe Wis Tekan Gapuro

Batman Forever -- Ngembat Saklawase

Remember the Titans -- Kelingan Titan-titan

The Italian Job -- Gaweane Wong Ngerum

Die Hard I -- Matine Angel

Die Hard II -- Matine Angel Tenan

Die Hard III With A Vengeance -- Kowe Kok Ra Mati-mati Tho?

Bad Boys -- Bocah-bocah Uelek

Sleepless in Seattle -- Klesikan neng Seattle

Lost in Space -- Ilang Neng Awang-awang

X-Men 1 -- Wong Lanang Saru

X-Men 2 -- Wong Lanang Saru Banget

X-Men 3 (Belum dirilis) -- Alvin

Cheaper by Dozen -- Tumbas Selusin Langkung Mirah

The Cooler -- Selot Adem

Paycheck -- Kasbon

Independence Day -- Pitulasan

The Day After Tomorrow -- Sesuke

Die Another Day -- Modare Ojo Saiki

There is Something About Marry -- Marry Ono Apa-apane

Silence of the Lamb -- Wedhuse Mutung

All The Pretty Horses -- Jarane Ayu2 (saka Legenda Pasar Kewan Mbahrowo)

Planet of the Apes -- Planete Wong Apes

Gone in Sixty Second -- Minggat Sakcepete

Original Sin -- Dosa Tenanan

Mummy Returns -- Mami-mami podo Mudik

The Abyss -- Entek-entekan

Copycat -- Kopi Kucing (nggo konco Sego Kucing)

Seabiscuit -- Klethikan Neng Laut

Freddy vs Jason -- Kerah

Terminator -- Terminal Montor

How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days -- Piye Carane Megat Lanangan mung 10 Dino

Lord Of The Ring -- pedagang akik...

Deep Impact -- Ngantem Njero

Million Dollar Baby -- Genjik Regone Sayuto

Blackhawk Down -- Manuk ireng kenek bedhil

Saving Private Ryan -- Ngelesi privat mas rian (pancene goblok tenan opo?)

Dumb and Dumber -- Wong Goblok lan guoooblok tenan

Tips Aman Naik Taksi

2008-12-22T01:39:00.000+07:00

Tindak kejahatan yang dilakukan para penjahat pada saat kita ber-taksi memang susah untuk diduga kapan terjadi. Karena itu, tindakan preventif menjadi sangat perlu untuk mengantisipasi kondisi tersebut, untuk menjaga hal-hal yang tidak kita inginkan terjadi.

Berikut ini ada 9 tips agar aman dan nyaman saat kita naik taksi, terutama bagi kaum perempuan:

1. Saat memberhentikan atau saat memilih periksa jumlah roda. Saat anda memberhentikan atau memilih taksi, pastikan jumlah rodanya 4, sebab kalo cuma 3 berarti anda naik bajaj.

2. Periksa juga tempat duduknya. Kalau jumlahnya banyak, berarti Anda naik angkot atau metromini.Kalau ga ada tempat duduknya, berarti anda naik mobil angkutan ternak.

3. Bertanya. Jangan pernah malu untuk bertanya, karena malu bertanya sesat di jalan, bahkan besar kemaluan susah berjalan.

4. Perhatikan selalu argo meter. Pastikan tulisannya "argo meter", jangan sampe tulisannya Argo Bromo atau Argo Gede (karena kesalahan ini amat fatal dan membuat Anda makin jauh dari tujuan).

5. Perlakuan terhadap sopir. Sama pak supir jangan terlalu galak nanti diusir, dan jangan pula terlalu baik nanti ditaksir.

6. Saat duduk. Yakinkan diri Anda bahwa Anda sudah duduk di dalam taksi itu sebelum taksinya berjalan, karena kalau tidak, jangan-jangan Anda masih duduk di halte bus, dan belum terbawa oleh taksi itu.

7. Saat taksi berjalan. Jangan melompat keluar taksi selagi taksi itu berjalan, karena akan sangat membahayakan orang lain. Jangan mengeluarkan anggota badan keluar jendela taksi, karena mungkin akan mengacaukan konsentrasi pengguna jalan yang lain. Bila mengeluarkan anggota badan di dalam taksi, anda juga akan mengacaukan konsentrasi sopir taksinya.

8. Jangan pernah tertidur di dalam perjalanan saat Anda naik taksi. Hal ini perlu diperhatikan karena untuk menghindari supir taksi menagih tarif taksi plus tarif sewa kamar.

9. Merokok dalam taksi. Merokok dalam taksi ber-AC sebaiknya dihindari, kalau tidak dapat dihindari, sebaiknya Anda jangan menyundut supir taksi dengan rokok, agar perjalanan anda tetap nyaman.

So hati-hati... Smoga bermanfaat ya...

Taksi

2008-12-22T01:22:00.001+07:00

Seorang wisatawan Jepang baru sampai di jakarta. Kemudian dia memberhentikan sebuah taksi Timor yang disupiri oleh Chandra.

Wisatawan Jepang: Pak ke Hotel Indonesia (dengan logat jepang yg masih keliatan)
Chandra : Baik pak

Taksi tersebut melewati jalan tol. Tiba2 dari samping kiri sebuah Toyota Vios melewati taksi tersebut.
Wisatawan Jepang: ahh, Toyota, made in Japan, very fast, very fast (masih dengan logat jepang nya)
Chandra hanya diam saja.

5 menit kemudian sebuah Mitsubishi Lancer melewati taksi tersebut.
Wisatawan Jepang: ahh, Mitsubishi, made in Japan, very fast, very fast
Chandra mulai berpikir dalem hati: neh orang sombong amat, mentang2 dari Jepang.

5 menit kemudian melesat Honda City di kanan taksi.
Wisatawan Jepang itu ngomong lagi: aahh, Honda, made in Japan, very fast, very fast
Chandra hanya diam saja.

20 menit kemudian taksi sudah sampai di Hotel Indonesia.
Wisatawan Jepang: Berapa ongkosnya?
Chandra: Rp.500.000
Wisatawan Jepang: Mahal sekali, apa gak salah???
Chandra: ini Argo, made in Japan, very fast, very fast (sambil nunjuk ke Argo)

Mahasiswa

2008-12-22T01:14:00.001+07:00

Seorang Mahasiswa baru terlihat lagi asyik ngobrol dengan seorang Pengemis di sebuah halte bus di kampus Universitas Indonesia (UI) Depok, Jakarta.

Mahasiswa: "Udah lama Ngemis di sini, pak??"

Pengemis: "Kurang lebih udah 8 tahun , dik!"

Mahasiswa: "Lama juga ya pak..sehari biasanya dapet uang berapa pak??"

Pengemis: "Paling sedikit Gocap (50 ribu) dik .."

Mahasiswa: "Banyak juga ya pak!?"

Pengemis: "Lumayanlah untuk keluarga..."

Mahasiswa: "Ngomong-ngomong keluarga bapak ada di mana ??"

Pengemis: "Anak saya semuanya ada 3, yang ke-1 di UGM Jogja, yang ke-2 di ITB Bandung dan yang ke-3 di IPB Bogor..."

Mahasiswa: "Hebat banget nih bapak.., eh.. anak bapak itu semuanya kuliah???"

Pengemis : "Nggak.... semuanya ngemis seperti saya ..."

Pacaran

2008-12-22T01:10:00.000+07:00

Agus yang cenderung pendiam sangat gugup menghadapi kencan pertamanya. Ia lalu bertanya kepada sahabatnya.
"Aku takut kalau nanti komunikasinya tidak lancar. Bagaimana sih cara menyiasatinya?"
"Perempuan itu paling suka kalau diajak ngobrol soal keluarga, makanan dan hal-hal yang berbau filsafat. Coba deh, pasti kencanmu menyenangkan", saran sahabatnya.

Agus pun dengan lebih percaya diri pergi berkencan. Sayangnya begitu saling menanyakan apa kabar, keduanya langsung terdiam. Kebisuan terus berlanjut.
Teringat saran sahabatnya, Agus bertanya teman kencannya, "Kamu punya kakak?"
"Tidak."

Terdiam lagi. Agus mencoba topik kedua, "Kamu suka masakan Padang nggak?"
"Nggak."

Agus serasa mati kutu. Lalu ia teringat topik ketiga. Mencoba sesuatu yang filosofis, Agus bertanya, "Seandainya kamu punya kakak, kira-kira ia suka masakan Padang nggak ya.....?"

Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns?

2008-12-22T00:59:00.002+07:00

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here.

The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual.

I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt.

I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady .

I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him.

He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless.

I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant.

I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Mrs... Lisa

Dear Lisa:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.

Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line.

If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.

Walter

Taken from "Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns?" of Adil

Funny Quotes

2008-12-22T00:55:00.001+07:00

Practice makes a man perfect... - But nobody's perfect..... . So why practice?

Money is not everything. - There's MasterCard & Visa.

One should love animals. - They are so tasty.

Save water. - Shower with your girl friend.

Love thy neighbour. - But don't get caught.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Every man should marry. - After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

The wise never marry - And when they marry they become otherwise.

Success is a relative term. - It brings so many relatives.

Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

Love is photogenic - It needs darkness to develop

Children in backseats cause accidents - Accidents in backseats cause children

"Your future depends on your dreams" - So go to sleep

There should be a better way to start a day - Than waking up every morning

"Hard work never killed anybody" - But why take the risk !

"Work fascinates me" - I can look at it for hours!

God made relatives; - Thank God we can choose our friends.

When two's company, - three's the result!

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know - So... Why learn.

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.... What more can I say........

Taken from "Funny Quotes" of madil80

Funny 10-Answering-Phone Messages

2008-12-22T00:43:00.001+07:00

10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.

8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling..... And I'll think about returning your call.

7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.

5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.

3. Hi. Now YOU say something.

2. Hi. I'm probably home; I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...real slow. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.

Taken from "Funny 10-Answering-Phone Messages" of Adil

A Millionaire & Three Beggars

2008-12-22T00:36:00.002+07:00

There was a good-natured millionaire in the town. Three beggars thought of approaching him for help. The first man went to the millionaire and said: "O Lord! I want five rupees. Please give me." The millionaire was taken aback at this man's impudence. "What! You demand five rupees from me as though I owe you the money! How dare you? How can I afford to give five rupees to a single beggar? Here, take these two rupees and get away," he said. The man went away with the two rupees.

The next beggar went to the millionaire and said: "Oh Lord! I have not taken a square meal for the past ten days. Please help me."
"How much do you want?" asked the millionaire.

"Whatever you give me, Maharaj," replied the beggar.
"Here, take this ten rupee note. You can have nice food for at least three days." The beggar walked away with the ten rupee note.

The third beggar came. "Oh Lord, I have heard about your noble qualities. Therefore, I have come to see you. Men of such charitable disposition are verily the manifestations of God on earth," he said.

"Please sit down," said the millionaire. "You appear to be tired. Please take this food," he said, and offered food to the beggar.
"Now please tell me what I can do for you."

"Oh Lord," replied the beggar; "I merely came to meet such a noble personage that you are. You have given me this rich food already. What more need I get from you? You have already shown extraordinary kindness towards me. May God bless you!"

But the millionaire, struck by the beggar's spirit, begged of the beggar to remain with him, built a decent house for him in his own compound, and looked after him for the rest of his life.

God is like this good millionaire. Three classes of people approach Him, with three different desires and prayers. There is the greedy man full of vanity, full of arrogance, full of desires. He demands the objects of worldly enjoyment from God. Since this man, whatever be his vile desires, has had the good sense to approach God, He grants him some part of the desired objects (even these very soon pass away, just as the two rupees the first beggar got are spent before nightfall).

The other type of devotee prays to the Lord for relief from the sufferings of the world, but is better than the first one, in as much as he is ready to abide by His Will. To him the Lord grants full relief from suffering, and bestows on him much wealth and property.

The third type he merely prays to the Lord: "O Lord, Thou art Existence-Absolute, Knowledge-Absolute, Bliss-Absolute, etc., etc." What does he want? Nothing. But the Lord is highly pleased with his spirit of renunciation, of desirelessness and of self-surrender. Therefore, He makes him eat His own food, I.e., He grants this man Supreme Devotion to Himself. Over and above this, He makes the devotee to live in His own House For ever afterwards this devotee dwells in the Lord's Abode as a Liberated Sage.

Taken from "A Millionaire & Three Beggars" of Adil

The Touchstone

2008-12-22T00:30:00.000+07:00

When the great library of Alexandria burned, the story goes, one book was saved. But it was not a valuable book; and so a poor man, who could read a little, bought it for a few coppers.

The book wasn't very interesting, but between its pages there was something very interesting indeed. It was a thin strip of vellum on which was written the secret of the "Touchstone"!

The touchstone was a small pebble that could turn any common metal into pure gold. The writing explained that it was lying among thousands and thousands of other pebbles that looked exactly like it. But the secret was this: The real stone would feel warm, while ordinary pebbles are cold.

So the man sold his few belongings, bought some simple supplies, camped on the seashore, and began testing pebbles. He knew that if he picked up ordinary pebbles and threw them down again because they were cold, he might pick up the same pebble hundreds of times. So, when he felt one that was cold, he threw it into the sea. He spent a whole day doing this but none of them was the touchstone. Yet he went on and on this way. Pick up a pebble. Cold - throw it into the sea. Pick up another. Throw it into the sea.

The days stretched into weeks and the weeks into months. One day, however, about midafternoon, he picked up a pebble and it was warm. He threw it into the sea before he realized what he had done. He had formed such a strong habit of throwing each pebble into the sea that when the one he wanted came along, he still threw it away.

So it is with opportunity. Unless we are vigilant, it's easy to fail to recognize an opportunity when it is in hand and it's just as easy to throw it away.

Taken from "The Touchstone" of Adil

The Dreams

2008-12-22T00:25:00.002+07:00

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi, handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and share a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began: "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only few secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. "You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dean and don't even know it!"

"There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change."

"Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing The Rose. She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the years end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Remember : GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY, GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

Taken from "The Dreams" of Adil

Someone Who Understands

2008-12-22T00:02:00.002+07:00

A store owner was taking a sign above his door that read: "Puppies For Sale". Signs like that have a way of attracting small children and sure enough, a little boy appeared under the store owner's sign.

"How much are you going to sell the puppies for?" he asked.
The store owner replied, "Anywhere from $30 to $50."
The little boy reached in his pocket and pulled out some change.
"I have $2.37," he said. "Can I please look at them?"

The store owner smiled and whistled, and out of the kennel came Lady, who ran out in the aisle of his store followed by five teeny, tiny balls of fur. One puppy was lagging considerably behind.

Immediately the little boy singled out the lagging, limping puppy and said, "What's wrong with that little dog?"
The store owner explained that the veterinarian had examined the little puppy and had discovered it didn't have a hip socket. It would always be lame. The little boy became excited.

"That is the puppy that I want to buy."
The store owner said, "No, you don't want to buy that little dog. If you really want him, I'll just give him to you."

The little boy got quite upset. He looked straight into the store owner's eyes, pointing his finger, and said, "I don't want you to give him to me. That little dog is worth every bit as much as all the other dogs and I'll pay full price. In fact, I'll give you $2.37 now, and 50 cents a month until I have him paid for."

The store owner countered, "You really don't want to buy this little dog. He is never going to be able to run and jump and play with you like the other puppies."

To his surprise, the little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted, crippled left leg supported by a big metal brace.

He looked up at the store owner and softly replied, "Well, I don't run so well myself, and the little puppy will need someone who understands."Don't we all need someone who understands?

Taken from "Someone Who Understands" of YST

Funny Cynical Early Christmas Carol

2008-12-15T17:55:00.002+07:00

You'd better watch out,
You'd better not cry;
You'd better keep cash,
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.

It's hitting you once,
It's hitting you twice
It doesn't care if you've been careful and wise
Recession is coming to town

It's worthless if you've got shares
It's worthless if you've got bonds
It's safe when you've got cash in hand
So keep cash for goodness sake, HEY

You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town!

Finance products are confusing
Finance products are so vague
The banks make you bear the cost of risk
So keep out for goodness sake, OH

You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.

What makes 100%?

2008-12-15T17:52:00.002+07:00

You have never used the ABC this way, believe me.

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this: What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K is 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E is 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E is 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T is 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G is 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

One of good collections from amenth of YST.

Words to Live by Zen Sarcasm

2008-12-15T17:47:00.003+07:00

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

One of good collections from madil80 of YST

Human Resources Manager

2008-12-15T17:26:00.001+07:00

The story of our lives ....You will love it ..read through every bit ... Please do not tell your Human Resources Manager or your own boss about it :-)

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St.Peter himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter.
"Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough,we've never once had a
Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules..."

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well
dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave.
Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St.Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her. "So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity," The woman paused for a second and then replied,"Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her smiled and told...
"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee."

Top Reasons Why Ladies Today are Still Single

2008-12-15T17:16:00.002+07:00

FOR SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!

Top reasons why ladies today are still SINGLE !!

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW, WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?

"Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."

Only for Guys

2008-12-15T17:12:00.001+07:00

HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY MEN LIE..?

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"
The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.
The Lord went down in the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.
Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.
"Yes", he replied.
The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with Angelina Jolie. "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.
"Yes," cried the woodcutter.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The woodcutter fell to his knees and cried, "Oh, forgive me, Lord. It is misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Angelina Jolie, You would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, and I love my wife such that I don't want her to share me with anyone, so THAT'S why I said yes to Angelina Jolie."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honourable reason, and for the benefit of others.. MOSTLY his wife! That's our story, and we're sticking to it..

Signed: THE GUYS.

The Beatles for IT Guys

2008-12-15T16:59:00.002+07:00

YESTERDAY
By Beatles

Yesterday,
All those backups seemed a waste of pay
Now my database has gone away
Oh I believe in yesterday.....
Suddenly,
There's not half the files there used to be
And there's a milestone hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly
I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say
Now all my data's gone and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay
Yesterday,
The need for back-ups seemed so far away
I knew my data was all here to stay
Now I believe in yesterday

IMAGINE
By John Lennon

Imagine there's no Windows
It's easy if you try
No fatal errors or new bugs
To kill your hard drives
Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
Leaving us in peace!
Imagine never ending hard disks
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to del or wipe off
And no floppy too
Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
Sharing all his money
You may say I'm a hacker
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And your games will fit in RAM
Imagine 1-Giga RAM
I wonder if you can
No need for left-shifts or setups
And no booting again and again
Imagine all the systems
Working all life-time!
You may say I'm a hacker
But I'm not the only one
Maybe someday I'll be a cracker
And then I'll make Windows run.....

LET IT BE
By Beatles

When I find my code in tons of trouble
Friends and colleagues come to me
Speaking words of wisdom: Write in C
As the deadline fast approaches
And bugs are all that I can see
Somewhere, someone whispers: Write in C Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C
LOGO's dead and buried
Write in C
I used to write a lot of FORTRAN
For science it worked flawlessly
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C
If you've just spent nearly 30 hours
Debugging some assembly
Soon you will be glad to Write in C Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, yeah, Write in C
BASIC's not the answer
Write in C
Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C
Pascal won't quite cut it
Write in C

Engineering Lesson

2008-12-15T16:56:00.002+07:00

Today's lesson - Girls must be convinced, so learn to promote yourself - convince them that "Engineers are the Best"

Let me tell you why girls should eventually marry an engineer over a Law, Management, Arts or Medical School graduate. He has three distinct advantages over the rest of the graduates.

Advantage 1: Secure lifestyle

An engineer boyfriend can provide you with a secure lifestyle. At 27 years old, an engineer probably has a respectable, stable job that gives him a high income to own a car, invest, have a comfortable life, and get married and buy a house too. Law graduates are still working as a lowly apprentice in a law firm, most management graduates have just failed on their first business plan, the arts graduate is still looking for a job, and the medical school
graduate is still living in a hospital.

Advantage 2: Unmatchable industriousness

An engineer boyfriend will dedicate an unimaginable amount of his time and effort to understand you. Engineers strain really really hard to understand their work. You can believe that they will try really really hard to understand women too, just like how they understand their work, once they believe that you are the one. So even if they don't understand you initially, they will keep on trying. Even if they still do not understand, they will figure out the correct method to keep you happy (e.g. buy diamond ring = 1 week's worth of happiness.) And once they find out the secret formula, they will just keep on repeating it so that the desired results appear. Unlike the Lawyer who will argue with you, the Management graduate who will try to control your spending, the Arts graduate who will 'change major', and the medical school graduate who will operate on you. And you know what, it's really so easy to make engineers believe that you are the 'only one'. Say that you like one of their projects and they will be hooked to you forever.

Advantage 3:

An engineer boyfriend will never betray your trust. Let me first tell you what is wrong with the rest of the others - the lawyers will lie about everything, management graduates will cheat your money, the arts graduate will flirt, and you probably just look like another cadaver to the the medical school graduate. Your engineer boyfriend is either too busy to have an affair, and even if he does, he is too dumb to lie to you about that.

Hence, an engineer is the most secure boyfriend that you will ever find - rich enough, will keep on trying to understand and please you, has no time for affairs, and too dumb to lie to you. So girls, why procrastinate? Get an engineer for your boyfriend!

Kok Beng the Crazy Singaporean

2008-12-15T16:49:00.001+07:00

Why did Kok Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 not allowed ! -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

Kok Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
Kok Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"
Salesgirl : "Yes !"
Kok Beng : "Give me a green one, please " -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

Kok Beng is filling up an application form for a job. He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc. Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question. After
much thought, he writes " Yes" -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

Kok Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Kok Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"
Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask ."
Kok Beng : "What does it do ?"
Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Kok Beng : "I'll buy it"
The next day, Kok Beng goes to work with his thermo flask.
Boss : "What is that shiny object ?"
Kok Beng : "It's a thermos flask."
Boss : "What does it do ?"
Kok Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Boss : "What do you have in it !?"
Kok Beng : " Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream" -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

After taking photocopies of documents, Kok Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes. -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

Kok Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken. -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

Why can't Kok Beng dial 911? Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone. -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

Kok Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it. When he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries. Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.
Kok Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an hour and still nobody come and help me ?!" -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

Kok Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear"
"Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But .... what happened to the other ear ?"
Kok Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back!!!!" -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

Kok Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Kok Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?"
Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
Kok Beng : "THANK YOU " AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE. -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Kok Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Kok Beng brags.
"FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL." Kok Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS". -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------

At a bar in New York, the man to Kok Beng's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE" and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".
The bartender approaches Kok Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"
Kok Beng replies : "Tan Kok Beng, MARRIED"

Old Russian Jokes

2008-12-15T16:33:00.003+07:00

USA: "We have a free speech. You can say anything you want. You can come to the White House and say that the American president is asshole".
Soviet Union: "We have a free speech as well. You can say anything you want. You can also come to the Red Square and say that the American president is asshole".

When the first direct phone line was established between White House and Kremlin, Brezhnev calls Carter (may be, it was not Carter, but who cares):
- Jimmy, I had nightmare. In my dream, White House was repainted to Red.
Next night, Carter calls Brezhnev:
- Leonid, I also had nightmare. I saw Red Square - all red with big red sign on the Kremlin.
- And what was written on the sign?
- No idea, I do not understand Chinese.

Do you know the one about the rabbit in DDR? a rabbit went everyday to a butcher and asked for carrots. After a lot of days the butcher was angry and nailed him to the wall. The rabbit looked in front of him and there was the picture of Erich Honecker. So he asked: did you wanted some carrots also?

Thanks to Nesher and MandyM from YST for the jokes :-)

The Barber

2008-12-15T16:29:00.002+07:00

There is this good old barber in some city in the US. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut.
After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service."
The Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

A policeman goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut.
But the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service."
The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen donut waiting at his door.

An Indonesian software engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut.
But the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service."
The Indonesian software engineer is happy and leaves. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there...

Can you guess?

Do you know the answer yet?

Come on, think like an Indonesian...

A DOZEN INDONESIAN WAITING FOR FREE HAIRCUT !!!

PS: Please, it's just a joke :-)

Usia Pernikahan Pengaruhi Kemesraan

2008-12-15T16:24:00.003+07:00

Here is another joke about " the duration of marriage affects the intimacy" but i'm sorry it is in Indonesia :-)

Sebelum Bobo:
6 minggu: selamat bobo sayang, mimpi indah ya, mmmuach.
6 bulan: tolong matiin lampunya, silau nih.
6 tahun : Kesana-an doong... kamu tidur dempet2an kayak mikrolet gini sih?!

Pakai Toilet:
6 minggu: ngga apa-apa, kamu duluan deh, aku ngga buru2 koq.
6 bulan: masih lama ngga nih?
6 tahun: brug! brug! brug! (suara pintu digedor), kalo mau tapa di gunung kawi sono!

Ngajarin Nyetir:
6 minggu: hati-hati say, injek kopling dulu baru masukin perseneling ya
6 bulan: pelan-pelan dong lepas koplingnya.
6 tahun: pantesan sering ke bengkel, masukin persenelingnya aja kayak gini!

Balesin SMS:
6 minggu: iya sayang, bentar lagi nyampe rumah koq, aku beli martabak kesukaanmu dulu ya
6 bulan: mct bgt di jln nih
6 tahun: ok.

Dating process:
6 minggu: I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 bulan: Of course I love U.
6 tahun : Ya iyalah!! kalau aku tidak cinta kamu, ngapain nikah sama kamu??

Back from Work:
6 minggu: Honey, aku pulang...
6 bulan : I'm BACK!!
6 tahun: Si mbok masak apa hari ini??

Hadiah (ulang tahun):
6 minggu : Sayangku, kuharap kau menyukai cincin yang kubeli
6 bulan : Aku membeli lukisan, nampaknya cocok dengan suasana ruang tengah
6 tahun : Nih duitnya, loe beli sendiri deh yang loe mau

Telepon:
6 minggu: Baby, ada yang pengen bicara ama kamu di telpon
6 bulan : Eh...ini buat kamu nih...
6 tahun : WOOIII TELPON BUNYI TUUUHHH....ANGKAT DUOOONG!!!

Masakan:
6 minggu: Wah, tak kusangka rasa makanan ini begitu lezaattt...!!!
6 bulan: Kita makan apa malam ini??
6 tahun: HAH? MAKANAN INI LAGI?

Memaafkan:
6 minggu: Udah gak apa-apa sayang, nanti kita beli lagi ya
6 bulan: Hati-hati! Nanti jatuh tuh.
6 tahun: KAMU GAK NGERTI2 YA DAH BERIBU2 KALI AKU BILANGIN

Baju baru:
6 minggu: Duhai kasihku, kamu seperti bidadari dengan pakaian itu
6 bulan: Lho, kamu beli baju baru lagi?
6 tahun: BELI BAJU ITU HABIS BERAPA??

Rencana liburan:
6 minggu: Gimana kalau kita jalan-jalan ke Amerika atau ke tempat yg kamu mau honey?
6 bulan: Ke Surabaya naik bis aja ya gak usah pakai pesawat...
6 tahun: JALAN-JALAN? DIRUMAH AJA KENAPA SEH? NGABISIN UANG AJA!

TV:
6 minggu: Baby, apa yg pengen kita tonton malam ini ?
6 bulan : Sebentar ya, filmnya bagus banget nih.
6 tahun: JANGAN DIGANTI-GANTI DONG CHANNELNYA AH! GAK BISA LIAT ORANG SENENG DIKIT APA ?!

Smart vs Dumb

2008-12-14T09:30:00.003+07:00

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

The Bird Lesson

2008-12-14T06:16:00.011+07:00

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold that the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

Reference: The Bird Lesson

"Stupid" Questions with "Smart" Answers

2008-12-14T05:31:00.007+07:00

BOY: May I hold your hand?
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY: You love me...

GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY: Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY: Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY: I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL: How soon??

BOY: I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL: Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON: Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY: I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN: You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN: NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND: You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
PETER: A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Girlfriend: "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend: "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil: "The moon".
Teacher: "Why?"
Pupil: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

Teacher: "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil: "A teacher".

Waiter: "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer: "What other colors do you have?"

My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

Teacher: "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam: "It's a family tradition".
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Sam: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher: "What about your mother?"
Sam: "She's a woman".

Tom: "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".

Teacher: "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student: "Brotherly love".

Teacher: "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam: "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

Patient: "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor: "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".

Teacher: " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."

Teacher: " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."